School Bullies

Do you think that it would be wrong of an adult at the age of 32 to go to an elementary school and kick the crap out of a fifth grader? My son may be the most sensitive kid there is. He takes in everything people say and pretends that it doesn't bother him. I see it everyday.

He wants to please me when I talk to him about his grades. He pretends to read so that I will think that he is reading better. It breaks my heart when I see that. Anyway, yeah, he holds it in and tries to brave.

Today he comes home from school and was crying, huge rolling tears, and told me that some little   *&%$#$ was calling him names. I know that his threshold for tolerance is pretty high. So this must have been a pretty aggressive altercation. I just might have to violate his personal space with my fist. Surely when i am arrested and go to court a jury of my peers will understand my reasoning.

Wonder why...

Why is it that every time I try to talk to my best friend in all the world , I only end up feeling bad? It seems like I do not get to have that relationship that movies portray all the time. I have known her since we were fourteen years old. I knew her husband before that and introduced them. (What a mistake that was.) We have danced around this problem for over half my life... eighteen years.

We never got into that stage of talking about important things. When I have ventured into that realm, I only had my feelings and private venting told to her husband, who afterwards embarrassed me by bringing it up in front of my husband. Needless to say I haven't brought the real me into any conversations. It really seems rather superficial. Why do I call her my best friend? She has always been there when I need her I guess. But I guess she probably would be my oldest friend, but not my best friend. That's kind of sad.

My age...

What is it that makes my completely compulsive to get a good grade in my classes? The only thing that I can think is that it is my age. Maybe the fact that going to school after so long, I feel like I have something to prove... to myself and everyone else. I know that I can do this.

I feel like in my youth I didn't try to succeed in school. I played and didn't pay attention. Now starting over, I have began a chapter in my life that I want to show myself that I am smarter than I acted as a child. :)

I have always had a problem with finishing things that I start. I am a procrastinator at heart and really tend to get bored easily. I know that everything will be fine as long as I keep my head in line with what I want to do.

I have never really worked my whole life. I went straight from my mother's home to being a wife and mother. I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years, and I think that people may look different at ladies who stay at home. Making me want to prove even more that this can be done.

Well It's Here

Found out last week my 13, soon to be 14 year old, has a boyfriend. I absolutely hate this. I know what I was doing at the age of 14. Yes, I realize not everyone is going to be the same. I also realize that I am not my mother, I have raised her in a different manner from my parents. (I hope this works) What they tried with me sure didn't work.

There is just something about a young girl, that you do not want to ever let go. She is growing up so fast, and I want her to enjoy life. To go do great things in her life. I am just not ready to let her go be a teenager and all that goes along with it.

I knew that it was coming and have been thinking of it a lot since she turned 10. Her daddy is about to freak though. I haven't seen him on facebook this much in his life. :)

Our Next Assignment....

Our next assignment in english is going to bring up a lot of emotions. I can only think of one major thing that seems to echo in my mind. This event changed my life and how I look at everything in it. I went through every emotion that there is to go through during that week. Even today I am a bit confused and angry. But at some point there is a lesson and moving on and what not. Still very har to get through.

I am also nervous about letting my peers read it. I am wondering if judgments will be made, and maybe I am a little bit protective of the event. It is mine after all. The sadness and the hurt, were all mine. Sharing seems an odd thing to do.

I can't believe that I was ever intimidated by....

I can't believe that I was ever intimidated by college. I was a little concerned about starting school again after so many years. (14 to be exact) I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to keep up. I was nervous that people would look at me like the old lady. Well they probably do, but I guess at a certain age it doesn't matter what people think of you anymore. I have seen that the kids have not changed. They are still the same ones I left at good ole BHP in 1997.

The jocks are still sticking jocks. And the cheerleaders are still stinking cheerleaders. I have realized though, that it doesn't matter anymore... all the drama they have, all the annoying things they say. I can walk away and not have to worry about all of that when I get home.

Another thing is that being in school again and having group activities I have found that life experience may be a factor in learning as well. I have seen that I am not as far behind as I originally thought. I also found that my once "arch enemy" the cheerleader... just might be smart after all. Ditsy, but smart. I am learning all the time. :)

Not much better...

Things are a little slower now that the IV has been done. Although it took me two times of inserting the needle. My husband should have married a nurse. I hate working with needles and it is more intimidating that the nurse is always standing over my shoulder.

I also found out that my math test didn't go as well as I had hoped. But at least I made a B. I also got a pretty good grade on my sociology paper last week, and mz. smiff was pretty nice with her grade on my essay. (wink wink) :)

Gabriel's teacher is concerned that he is behind in his recognition of the letters. But he has only been in school a little over a month and he was never in preschool. I am sure he will be fine. The only thing is when he finds something difficult, he "checks" out literally. She said that she turns her back and the next thing she knows is that he is under his desk. (shaking my head) Maybe I should take a cue from my Gabie baby and hide under my desk during my next math test. :)

I am writing this blog but I should be...

I am writing this blog but I should be doing numerous amounts of things at once. The trip to Vegas has put me behind in almost all of my classes. I have 50 plus assignments due in Spanish and a paper due tomorrow in Sociology. I wrote part of it on the flight, but without a computer on the flight it was a little difficult to research. I had a math test yesterday, after having four hours of sleep because the flight was a late arrival.

Not to mention all of things that need to be done around the house. Evidently the kids used every article of clothing they own while we were away. I have about 10 loads of laundry to wash and fold. i hate folding laundry. The sink is full of dishes, and the garbage cans are overflowing.

All of this on top of the fact that I got a note from Gabriel's teacher wanting a conference about his behavior and his academic progress. That's this afternoon at three. After that meeting I get to go infuse my husband with his IV. Then go back home and work on homework with the kids. Joshua had his tests from last week sent home after having failed every one of them. He did not even read the tests. Just picked an a, b, c, or d. I may strangle that boy. :/

In January, I was...

In January, I was blissfully unaware that my husband would be diagnosed with a life threatening disease. In April we found out that he has HAE, or Hereditary Angioedema. It is a disease that causes swelling in the limbs, face and airway. Death can result from a quick throat swelling.

Among all of the heartaches that have come from this disease, we have had many blessings as well. All of the financial aspects that you might think go along with a disease like this have been taken care of. We have a company called PSI who is taking care of paying the premiums for his insurance and his copays. All of that and paying for his medication and his treatments.

The treatments are as follows: twice a week I have to inject his port with an infusion of this medicine called Cinryze. I am not a nurse by any means. I absolutely hate sticking that needle in. Ugh. It seems to be my worst nightmare ever.

Now on to another blessing I left out. HAEA (the association for HAE) has paid for us to go to Las Vegas this weekend... all expenses paid. I am currently packing, and we leave in the morning. I would write all about it when I return, but it seems what happens in Vegas stays there.... Unless I win some money, that's coming home with me.

Things that really get under my skin...

       I guess there are things that really annoy everybody. But there are some things in particular that REALLY bother me. I may be picky but come on, spell your words correctly. In this day and age how hard is it to look it up. Your phone is a computer. Your computer has spell check. Not to mention the fact that people are becoming more stupid day in and day out by spelling things the "easy way" for texting purposes. How hard is it to write "text" instead of "txt"? It's just one extra letter.
        That leads me to people interchanging words for other ones that sound the same. There are three ways to spell a word that sounds the same: to, two, too. They all mean different things. DUH! "I am going two the store." "I like that movie to." UGH. How many times do I have to look at some one's facebook page and see that "Joe is going to there grandma's house."? I have even seen it spelled that way on a billboard for a town activity. I will not mention the name, because someone complained and they changed it the following week. Though not before I drove past several times ranting every time.
         It's getting to the point that when I see these people in real life, as opposed to the fake life of online, I just want to smack them. Afterwards sending them back to the 1st grade where they supposedly learned the definitions and spellings of said words. My ranting for today is done. Maybe next time I will write of what really makes me happy. I guess it depends on if I see those irritating people.

P.S. Having just written this, I am immediately wondering if my words are used in the correct way. I will feel shame upon shame if I accidentally interchanged words or misspelled after chastising the world so. :)